"Cry out to Him"…the beginning of a journey

Prayer.

I almost feel like I can't talk or think or do anything that doesn't come back to prayer. Whether its a book I end up reading that I have had for years, or a podcast that I stumble on… its like prayer is eveerrryyyy wheeeerreee...

I don't know about anyone else, but I sometimes run out of things to pray. Does anyone else struggle with that? For people. For myself. For my life. I just run out of things to say. I go around the same mountain over and over and over again.

This week, I have been asking God to teach me "how" to pray… not a formula, not a mix of christian jargon, but from the depths of my heart. I have been asking Him to show me how to "cry out" to Him… how to dig deep and allow my spirit to latch on to a promise outside of the realm of "possible" and go for it!

On this journey of prayer…I have started to see a glimpse of what I was really created to do and be. I was created to commune and connect with my father… and that IS what prayer really is. Its the mingling of me and Him. Its our own private, intimate time. Its touching eternity.

Yesterday, I went on a hike and started to sense the Lord pulling me away to worship Him. As I stepped off the trail and into a side area with my headphones on, I got a text from a friend and my heart started to break. Immediately I began to cry just sensing the pain in her text. I started to pray the normal stuff, and then stopped. "Lord, what do I pray?". I could sense Him coming close, empowering and filling me with His spirit. Then, the music that played in my ears started to stir my heart…and I began to dance before the Lord… I can't explain it, but I just danced. And as I did, the Lord whispered to me "…this is what it feels like to cry out to me…". And then, a flood of tears, words, singing and adoration poured from my mouth over the next several minutes.

He was praying through me and I was simply going on a journey with Him! I started to pray that God would ruin me for the appetites of this world and for revival in my heart and across this nation… I prayed that God would touch our school classrooms and for supernatural debt cancellation. I prayed for restful sleep patterns and transcendent peace to fill the hearts of friends and family.  I prayed for my future family and children…and I experienced Heaven on earth!

I am realizing that prayer can be more than just talking to God. It can be heavenly and empowering and life-changing.

I am realizing that there is a place in prayer that we can get to that is more about drawing near to Him than it is about what we say or pray.

And, I am realizing that it is not just for seemingly "big" things. Prayer is for everything. 

You see, prayer is not the least we can do, or the last resort… it is the MOST we can do. Lets go deeper… lets venture out of the boat and set aside time to pray out the Father's heart! Lets touch heaven as we cry out to Him… we will be changed in the process!

Those "in betweeny" seasons...

 

 

Have you ever felt so anxious you couldn’t eat? And just feel a knot in your stomach. Like you are going to be sick? Apparently, according to some Christians, we have nothing to be anxious about. Ya right.

I mean, if we look at the instructions, commandments and promises in the bible, aren’t so many of them there to remind us of the truth WHEN we start to believe a lie? I mean, we wouldn’t need to be told “do not be anxious” if we would never struggle with it. Just a thought.

So, the past week has been a lull in my life—a lull at work. A lull in my personal life.  Just a lull. It’s not a bad lull necessarily—just a little quieter. Anyway—in this lull, I have found myself just enjoying the pace. Then, I had a few conversations last week that got me really excited about the potential for a completely new season in my life. It wasn’t a boy—for all you who know that I am single. Haha! But, it just got me so excited! Just an open door that I have been waiting for and an opportunity that was beyond what I could have imagined would happen in this season.

And then.

Silence. And then. More silence and waiting. I started to think that I might not see this “opportunity” come to pass in my life. I was face to face with the fear that THIS might be another “oh well, God has a better plan” sob story. I am sooooo not good at waiting!!!

When I got to work this morning, I started to feel my stomach turn in knots and my breathing quicken—and it dawned on me. I am anxious. These days of being “in between” and silence is creating a tension that is leading to anxiety… and it feels awful.

So, I did what I do when I need to get alone with the Lord. I got under my desk and opened my bible. I texted a few friends and asked for prayer… and then started to read. I struggled to get my heart quiet enough to hear and fought with myself for several minutes… and then a friend text me this verse as I was reading it…

”…the Lord is near… Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:5-7).

I took the first part of that verse. And thought about it for a few minutes. He is near. Close. Next to me. Cheering me on. Loving me. Right here.

I took the second part of that verse. Give him everything while thanking him for all he has done. I did that… out loud, under my desk. I thanked him for his saving grace in my life. I thanked him for my family and friends. I thanked him for the hope that I have in Him.

As I sat there, I realized that I had a choice.

I could either believe the FACTS of my life (I am waiting, single, its silent…) or I could believe the TRUTH of what the word of God says about me (God has good plans for me, he cares and is fighting for me)...

Facts vs Truth. What will it be?? What will I put my faith in right now?!!

I can remember God’s past faithfulness. I can choose joy in the midst’s of this. I can admit to God that I need his presence… like 500 times over the next hour. I can speak the truth of the scriptures over my heart and have faith that they will do what they have been sent forth to accomplish. I can continue to pray prayers of faith and yet give Him the final say as to what happens on the other side of this waiting…

It’s a choice. We all have a choice when it comes to the things that we are feeling so “in betweeny” about. Anxiety will not make the season go by faster. Times of silence and waiting are the perfect opportunity for us to choose how we wait. The season will end…what will I remember when I look back. Faith and trust, or anxiety??!!

And I am asking Him for the courage to choose the truth!!! I am not quite there yet, but I have taken a half a step!!! Do I think that miraculously my anxiety will all go away in the next 3 minutes? I really don’t think so. BUT, do I think that God is close and hears and loves and is in my corner?! Yes…absolutely!!!

So, here I am! Journeying onward today… and speaking the word of God over my life—stretching my faith to believe that it’s doing something, even if I can’t feel it! 

Sincerely,

 

Nandi

 

Prayer…what's the point???

Prayer. Reality?! I am just now trying to figure out what is the point of prayer. I have read a few books on prayer and have found myself walking away with ideas and yet totally disconnected. LIke, "…thats nice, it worked for them… but…that kinda stuff doesn't happen to me". I mean, I don't have a laundry list of answered prayers. At least not yet...

A few months ago, I thought I would give prayer a real try. Haha. That just sounds ridiculous  when I write it out! I mean, I ask for prayer. I even pray for people… daily. But, I have always thought of prayer as more of an insurance policy. Like a just-in-case net that I put under my efforts and my abilities and my strength. Even knowing some of the promises in the bible about prayer, I still wasn't "sold". Honestly. I wasn't. 

But, I went for it anyway. I started to pray for things that were humanly impossible for me to manipulate in my flesh… praying for favor over people I had never met… praying for open doors that had previously had 19382 dead bolts on them… praying for blessings that I didn't deserve and had no part in… joining friends over financial provision… just going for it. And,  one night a few weeks ago I heard the Lord whisper...

"…true prayer is the walking out of humility-- practically, prayer is taking your hands off, admitting you don't know and giving it to me. "

Well, I tucked that away in my back pocket…and it really encouraged me to journey onward.  As I prayed in my car, in the elevator at work and other random places, I realized that the my prayers were so "stapely". (Is that even a word??!!). They were cookie cutter. Ugh. 

I admitted to God that although I was sold on the humility part of prayer, I didn't know what to say. People always told me "prayer is just talking to God".  But the way I was talking to God felt so boring! So, God showed me that praying for people meant doing it from their perspective. And, that praying for myself was about stepping outside of my own life and identifying the needful thing.  So.. 

...instead of praying "heal sweet Rals" when Wendy shared she was sick… I started to try and pray for the needful thing.  Like,  "give Wendy grace and patience with how to get Rals to eat her lunch… oh, and a longer nap today to give mama a break"… 

…instead of just asking God for favor and open doors, I started to pray specifically about who I desired favor with and why.

And now…. FINALLY, I have a few things to add to my list of answered prayers! Friends with new jobs, a miracle pregnancy, lost bible in the mail was found and open doors of crazy favor in my life! 

Will I ever understand prayer??!! I don't really think so. But, as one of the VP's at my job said last week during devotions… "I can't fully comprehend the mysteries of prayer.  But I do know that the bible says to pray… and that, we can and should do". 

And that, is what I can and will do. And today, I can actually add a few more things and start my "prayers answered laundry list"... 

Join me, would ya?!

Sincerely, 
Nandi