I am in counseling. There… I said it. Its out there… haha!!! And, just to be honest, I love going! Well, not in the same way as "I love pizza" or " I love clothes from Anthro"… but, I do love it :) And… I am so thankful because I love my counselor-- she is a gift to my little heart!!! She is kind and gentle… and I can tell that she really loves the Lord… bonus!!!
So, today was a counseling day for me. I usually wake up a little anxious about where my session will go. As I headed to work, I was giving my heart to the Lord, and felt like today was going to be a day where I should walk in thanksgiving-- and make the choice to be thankful. In all things. In everything. I set on to do just that…
I was distracted pretty much all morning, and just chose not to start this journey yet :) Around noon, I decided I would put my headphones on and listened to a podcast from my church called "Gratitude" from last Sunday. One of the things that Pastor Derek said was "…your thankfulness doesn't make God come on the scene, but just makes you aware that he was already there". (Link Below) So, I went on my afternoon walk for my break. I started saying out loud…
"I thank you Lord … for your love for me… for your heart towards me… that you speak to me…that you give me peace…for my job...
...and on and on for just a few minutes, and then I realized that I was running out of things to be thankful for (which is a whole other blog it itself!!!). And, I leaned into the Lord, and the next part that came out of my mouth hit my heart.
"Lord I thank you that you value me"
My eyes started to water… it rang in my heart, over and over. He values me. Wait… he values me?? Just as I am? He really values me. He actually values who I am, not just what I do. He values me as I am a work in progress, and as I am on a journey… he values me.
As I started speaking words of thanksgiving and thankfulness to the Lord, it was like my heart opened up. In speaking words of gratitude and life, my perspective started to shift. And then, it was like through my words of thanksgiving, my spiritual eyes and heart were opened to the Lord in a really sweet way…and I felt the His presence and became aware of his LOVE towards me!!!
It was exactly what I heard earlier in the podcast from my church…God was already there, I just became aware of him!
To end my afternoon, I went to counseling-- and it was so sweet to walk in and take with me my value in the Lord!! As my counselor and I walked through some hard stuff in my life, I shared openly and honestly about my past (well…I really tried at least!!). One of my struggles, as my counselor would tell you, is that the enemy has taken my past and heaped shame and guilt over me. We talk about being aware of his lies at the end our sessions sometimes-- and it is really helpful!!! Today, as I left… instead of combating the enemy with my energy, I rested in my value. And, that was enough!!!
Thanksfulness… it really can change your perspective!!!
Oh, and listen to this podcast… actually, listen to all of them! SO good!!!
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/derek-turner-gratitude/id559791603?i=163310135&mt=2
No comments:
Post a Comment