UCLA Hall of Fame stuff…as promised...

Well, I promised my friends and family that couldn't make it… that I would blog about my HOF (Hall of Fame) induction 2 weekends ago in California :) Here it is.. and anyone that knows me, knows that even trying to do this is a STRETCH because I absolutely hate talking about myself or anything of the sort. So, this is for those that texted, called, and wished they could have been there… here you go!!!

I got there on Tuesday, but really… the HOF festivities started on Friday!!! What a crazy 3 day whirlwind… here are those days… "a life in pictures"… 

Friday, at 5 PM we got to see my plaque on the Hall of Fame wall… wow. I have to say that I was completely overwhelmed seeing my signature on a wall in the Alumni/Hall of Fame section of UCLA. As my brother and I headed to find my name on the wall, he said it best, "Nandi, your name is on the same wall as Arthur Ashe and Jackie Robinson". Umm… speechless. It was here, and in this moment that I realized that this whole HOF thing was a little bit of a big deal. Here are some pictures of the private unveiling… 

Then, it came time for the dinner and speeeeech!!! Ahh… I was so crazy nervous! When we got there, it was reception time and just got to hang out with the other inductees… so crazy to me that some of the people were well into their 60's or 80's… and here I was, inducted into the HOF during my first elidgible vote. The rule is that you have to be graduated for 10 years, and 2013 was my 11th year. Again, I had no idea about any of that!!! 

Anyway… we headed from the main campus area, up to the dinner reception where everyone had to give a 5-8 minute speech. I was so nervous… I kept pinching Jenny under the table! I went last, so I had a chance to size up my speech competition :) Here are some pictures from my speech…

 Not at all sure what I am doing or saying in these pictures, but I sure was animated… HAHA!!! I do remember making fun of my brother, thanking my parents and coaches :) It was so fun… I talked for 8 minutes, which was way long than when I practiced it in the mirror at the hotel… but, at least I wasn't 23 minutes long like some of the others :) 

Here are some pictures from after the speeches…

Jill… my college coach!

HOF 2013 Induction Class

My mom and Lily!

Milburn and Swan..

Me and my parentals :) 

Swanny… Me… Jenny

Then, it was time for the Saturday football game-- UCLA vs CAL. Lets just say, yet again… I started to realize as I walked up to the stadium, that there were 100,000 people at this game.. I had no idea going into all of this… that it was going to be that big of a deal!!! During halftime, they announced the 2013 HOF Class… here are a few pictures…

Milburn… Greco and Me… 

Greco… and Jill...

My parents and family looked on… as my face and highlight reel was on the jumbo-tron!!! ahhh… I kept asking the ABC Sports girl "does my hair look okay??!! Do I have anything in my teeth??" haha!!! And then… after the jumbotro deal… dinner with a boy… wow. 

I am not at all sure how to end this blog post, because I am usually talking about something deep and intense :) I guess I will end with just what it felt like to be honored with something like this…and try to take a few sentences to explain feeling so overwhelmed. I realized, as I was back at UCLA, and seeing friends that I have known for 13 years… I realized that I am "known"-- intimately and deeply, yes by the Lord, but also by others. I have had several friendships dissolve in the last 10 years, and 1 just earlier this year. BUT, when I was in LA, I got to talk about my college years, and say "oh yeah, remember 8 years ago"… it was so good for my soul!!! And the other thing that was completely overwhelming about this trip, was that I realized that although so many of the things that I have been able to accomplish with soccer will be forgotten, my name will forever and always be on that wall at UCLA, and in the books as one of soooo many incredible athletes! And lastly, my family and friends… especially my parents and my brother… who gave up so much for me to play a game that I loved… to see them so proud and walk beside me… that was an amazing gift!!!

I guess I will end with a picture while I was on campus just walking around… I sure do miss this place… UCLA…so many great memories… 

Guarding my heart… while He writes my story

Last week I was in LA, doing an induction thing at UCLA (which I plan on blogging about this week when I sort through all the pics!)… and on the last night before leaving LA-- I met a boy. Well, sorta :) It is actually a crazy story how it all happened-- and crazy how you could spend 4 hours with a complete stranger just talking and laughing and eating, and it just feel so normal. But, this is not a blog about him or anything about hanging with him… it is a blog about what God has done in my heart in the last 7 days since meeting him…and what he has been teaching me!!!

I am pretty honest and transparent, so I'm just going to start by saying that I would consider last weekend my very first real date, and the first time I felt like a guy thought I was pretty, or interesting, or funny, or passionate or just "got what life is all about". I felt like for 4 hours, I was important and…not pushed aside. (Oh, and, I have told him all of this… so its not a secret!) Those of you that are single--will be able to relate to what I am talking about! I mean, at 31… it can get to a point where you think "what in the world is wrong with me… do I have a sign on my head that say 'stay away' from me? Am I ugly??". Just being honest-- these are things that I think and battle most every day. 

Over the last 7 days, this scripture has come to my heart at the most random times… 

Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, 

for everything you do flows from it."

But, as I started on this journey to do what Proverbs 4:23 says-- I realized that I don't really know what it means to "guard my heart"!!  I mean, does it mean to not watch bad movies and listen to bad music? Does it mean to expect the worst and think negatively about what you are hoping for… like tricking yourself? Does it meant to turn inward and shut down??? What does "guarding your heart" really mean????!!!

As I have been on this journey, I have realized that guarding your heart isn't just for single people… it really is for any and all seasons of life… 

It is for wives that want to be pregnant and aren't yet… 

It is for the person that has been interviewing at a job and isn't sure if you'll get it or not...

It is for that girl that has moved to a new city and meets new people, but isn't sure if you are going to be invited back to hang with that group…

It is for that person that is praying for unsaved friends and family, and can see some fruit, but you just aren't sure if that person will fully commit to following Christ... 

Really the short of it is… "guarding your heart" is for anyone that is walking the line between the reality of now and the hope of the future!!!

So, as I have been asking the Lord "how do I walk this line??!!"... He has shown me that…  

1) Guarding my heart is not about what I don't do. But, what I do! It is about turning my attention to the Lord when my mind/heart wander to any place where I feel worried about the outcome of a situation... 

2) Guarding my heart means… enjoying the current moment as much as possible and soaking in all of what is right in front of me! Literally… right in front of me! Even if its just watching TV :) 

3) Guarding my heart means… remembering God's past faithfulness when I look into my future! 

Lastly, I think that the biggest thing that God has shown me… is that guarding my heart means living in such a way where I KNOW that God is still writing my story! He is… He is still writing my story of marriage, of career, of family, of ministry… and honestly, he will be writing my story for the rest of my life! Yesterday I felt like the Lord showed me that life's seasons are full of ellipses, periods, semicolons, commas or chapter ends... and all of it is being written by him! AND, I am so thankful to say that the end of my story, the end of all of our stories, will show God's perfect love, his unending care, his relentless grace, his pursuing presence and his sweet tenderness!! The end of the story for those of us that know him…is always good!!!


SO… is this boy going to be a part of my story for more than my time in LA?? I really have noooo idea! But, I know that I am on a journey towards trusting the Lord fully to be the author of my life… and opening my heart to the perfect story teller!!!

Let love lead…

This is one of those blog posts that sits on your mind and heart for days, probably even weeks… and then finally it all comes together… 

Yesterday was a really fun day for my church family because we had church in the park! It is always such a great time of connection, conversation and just worshipping God in a really neat way. Plus, I got to hang with Aliza during worship, which is always soooo fun… 

As worship ended, though, I found myself retreating. Like really retreating. Like pulling back and just wanting to be by myself. I could feel it starting as people started to arrive at 10 AM, and it is almost like I didn't even really know what was happening-- and yet part of me did, but didn't know how to stop it. I was thinking to myself "what is wrong with you"… "why aren't you hanging out with everyone". I don't know if this was the "right" thing to do or not, but I just decided instead of being angry with myself and going into shame and anxiety… that I would just let myself be. I would just say "oh well, this is where I am at right now-- and I can't seem to change it… so, here it is". So, I did just that. As the picnic and eating time started, I kept hearing things in my head like "they have family, and you don't". And "see, they are married and you don't have that. And "is anyone going to talk to you when you leave here… no". And, on and on and on. It just kept going until I left the park and headed home…

The rest of the afternoon at home was hard.. like really hard. Honestly, just being tired of being alone what feels like all the time. Tired of the fact that I am not dating, and really never have. At 31. And overwhelmed with the reality that as much as there are so many people here that are like family to me-- and that I love so dearly, and they love me back… there is nothing like being able to show up at my parents house and rummage through their fridge. There is nothing like coming home to someone who you know will always be there.   Since I left home at the age of 17, I haven't had these things…and sometimes it just comes up and I can't keep it in… 

Anyway… I texted a friend when I just started to feel like I was on the brink of an unravel. I basically just said "… hey if you think of it, if you could send up a prayer for me today, that would be great… feeling like it could be an interesting afternoon… thanks". I would have just expected "Yes, I will be praying for you"... BUT, that wasn't what I got… what I got was… 

"I will totally pray for you sweet one…" and then "why will it be a rough afternoon? Are you sad?"… and when I responded with my struggles with singleness, this person said "I get that… and you deserve that special someone…"

I can't even put into words what it felt like to know that someone was going beyond just blanket words… but took another step. A step to say "I am here, walking with you". A step to come alongside, simply by asking a question and going a little bit further. It meant the world to me… and the Lord really used it to take me over a hump. And slowly, I found myself drawing closer to the Lord and my night got better as it went on-- I mean, I had to take some steps myself, but her response set my face and feet going in the right direction… 

Those of you that have experienced this, know what I am talking about.  

Tonight as I drove home from a hike, the Lord started to show me the different ways that we as Christians respond to pain and hurt. I have seen that...

1) pain makes people uncomfortable…it makes them want to fix things...
2) people have "cookie cutter" response to pain… not knowing what to say...
3) people struggle with entering into pain and sitting in it with others... 
4) people often say things, that unknowingly, dismiss pain…

And honestly, for the 5 years I worked at Mercy… I was more like this list above than anyone!!! I just want to "fix" because pain is hard to watch-- and to feel. 

So, all of this is to say…I have been feeling challenged all day today to do better in this area of my life! When someone is hurting, I want to take a step back and instead of saying the first thing I think… choose to validate them. When someone is crying, instead of telling them not to cry… tell them "i'm sorry". When someone is doubting God's purpose and plan for their lives, I want to just hear them out… instead of quoting bible verses that can sometimes actually bring more condemnation than healing… 

Lately I have thought to myself… when Jesus saw someone in pain, did he tell them it was wrong what they were feeling, or did he just sit with them in it even for a minute??? Did he tell the woman with the issue of blood "umm… I don't think that you should be needing this from me… just be fine... just relax… God has a good plan for your life". I dunno. But, I believe that He entered into her world… and was able to see life from her perspective…. perfectly. He got into her shoes, he felt her heart, he understood what this type of affliction would do to her socially, mentally and emotionally. He was moved with compassion. Full compassion. And that is what loving one another is all about… 

Lets have compassion on one another. 
Lets go beyond with people. 
Lets realize that everyone has a story, every single day. 
Lets hug the people around us that need it. 
Lets listen, even if we are busy. 
Lets ask a few more questions, even if we don't know where it is going to lead.
Lets love people in their pain, even when it is hard and uncomfortable. 
Lets be aware of those around us that need an ear, even when all we have is a minute. 

Lets start to live our lives like Jesus did… letting love and compassion lead. I want to be one of these people. 

Romas 12:15-"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."