I am pretty honest and transparent, so I'm just going to start by saying that I would consider last weekend my very first real date, and the first time I felt like a guy thought I was pretty, or interesting, or funny, or passionate or just "got what life is all about". I felt like for 4 hours, I was important and…not pushed aside. (Oh, and, I have told him all of this… so its not a secret!) Those of you that are single--will be able to relate to what I am talking about! I mean, at 31… it can get to a point where you think "what in the world is wrong with me… do I have a sign on my head that say 'stay away' from me? Am I ugly??". Just being honest-- these are things that I think and battle most every day.
Over the last 7 days, this scripture has come to my heart at the most random times…
Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it."
But, as I started on this journey to do what Proverbs 4:23 says-- I realized that I don't really know what it means to "guard my heart"!! I mean, does it mean to not watch bad movies and listen to bad music? Does it mean to expect the worst and think negatively about what you are hoping for… like tricking yourself? Does it meant to turn inward and shut down??? What does "guarding your heart" really mean????!!!
As I have been on this journey, I have realized that guarding your heart isn't just for single people… it really is for any and all seasons of life…
It is for wives that want to be pregnant and aren't yet…
It is for the person that has been interviewing at a job and isn't sure if you'll get it or not...
It is for that girl that has moved to a new city and meets new people, but isn't sure if you are going to be invited back to hang with that group…
It is for that person that is praying for unsaved friends and family, and can see some fruit, but you just aren't sure if that person will fully commit to following Christ...
Really the short of it is… "guarding your heart" is for anyone that is walking the line between the reality of now and the hope of the future!!!
So, as I have been asking the Lord "how do I walk this line??!!"... He has shown me that…
1) Guarding my heart is not about what I don't do. But, what I do! It is about turning my attention to the Lord when my mind/heart wander to any place where I feel worried about the outcome of a situation...
2) Guarding my heart means… enjoying the current moment as much as possible and soaking in all of what is right in front of me! Literally… right in front of me! Even if its just watching TV :)
3) Guarding my heart means… remembering God's past faithfulness when I look into my future!
Lastly, I think that the biggest thing that God has shown me… is that guarding my heart means living in such a way where I KNOW that God is still writing my story! He is… He is still writing my story of marriage, of career, of family, of ministry… and honestly, he will be writing my story for the rest of my life! Yesterday I felt like the Lord showed me that life's seasons are full of ellipses, periods, semicolons, commas or chapter ends... and all of it is being written by him! AND, I am so thankful to say that the end of my story, the end of all of our stories, will show God's perfect love, his unending care, his relentless grace, his pursuing presence and his sweet tenderness!! The end of the story for those of us that know him…is always good!!!
SO… is this boy going to be a part of my story for more than my time in LA?? I really have noooo idea! But, I know that I am on a journey towards trusting the Lord fully to be the author of my life… and opening my heart to the perfect story teller!!!
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