"Burn the Boats" - part 1.

So, yesterday during worship at church… in the middle of a song, I heard the Lord say "burn the boats". It totally took me by surprise-- and honestly, I dismissed it completely at first because it was so out of left field. But, then again and again and again, I kept hearing it. I actually felt like it was something he was saying to me and to another friend of mine. Anyway, I got home a few hours later and God was back on it again. "burn the boats". I kept hearing it over and over again. 

I vaguely remembered hearing some pastor or leader share the story of "burn the boats" in a message-- but I couldn't remember the story. I did what one does when you need to find out something, I Googled it :) Basically, the story goes that Hernando Cortez went to the land now called Mexico to try and "conquer" the people that lived on that land because the land had the potential for great wealth. Several other groups of explorers tried to conquer the land in past 600 years, but were unsuccessful and died trying. After several weeks, Cortez started hearing that some of his men wanted to retreat… stricken with fear because of (in their minds) the inevitability of death. So, Cortez took drastic measures-- he commanded his officials to "burn the boats". He knew that not having the option to retreat would give his men the desire, the drive and the persistence to conquer the land. He took away their safety net. He took away their "just in case". He took away their ability to retreat. All by burning the boats. 

Pretty much every time I woke up in the middle of the night, I was hearing "burn the boats". Then all day today, I have been hearing "burn the boats". So-- of course, I have been asking. And tonight, the Lord showed me that FOR ME, 

…"burning the boats" means… 

letting go of ideals, preconceived notions, scripted outcomes and immature mindsets of certain areas of my life…

As I was driving home tonight, the Lord showed me that my ideals about marriage have come from movies AND from idolizing marriages that I have seen from the outside. These ideals created longings for something that has stopped me from fully embracing my singleness!!! And honestly, it stopped me to the point where it made me believe that my purpose and reaching my dreams would only happen AFTER marriage and family. Why? Oh, because I have scripted outcomes of my husband and I traveling and doing ministry together. Why? Oh, because I am 31 and not married-- and really never dated. So, to me-- it followed that my purpose HAD to be connected to my husband, which is the reason that I have given myself for not fully stepping into it yet. WOW. 

The second thing that the Lord brought up was my ideals in HOW the path of fulfilling his dreams would be laid out for me. I always idolized the idea of being a part of a ministry for 30 years-- starting at an entry level, or even being a part of a church as a member at the beginning… and learning the in's and out's of that ministry. Of being a pillar that would go and grow with where it was going. In my head, doing that was the ONLY way to fulfill God's path for my life. WOW. 

Tonight, as I drove home from a dinner party from work…the Lord started talking to me about all of this and I wept the whole way home. You see, to "burn the boats" isn't just about not looking back when it comes to this stuff, it is about completely destroying the things that would stop me from looking fully into the future that God has for me!!! The future desires I have for family are totally from the Lord, but I am no longer waiting for a husband to launch fully into the life in ministry that I have always felt the Lord was calling me to. My desire to be a pillar in an organization is a huge part of my heart, but I no longer am fixated on how long that journey of being a pillar might take and letting go of where I feel like this journey should happen. 

God is truly up to something. He is "burning the boats"…. and as much as I can feel uncovered and exposed because my safety net of what I have always believed and always wanted is starting to go "up in flames"--I am also sensing in the deepest place in my heart that this "boat burning" is going to help unravel old mindsets even more in my life, and open me up to a whole new way of pursuing the plan and purpose that God has for me right now… in this season!

I guess my question is… what boats do we need to be open to the Lord "burning" in our lives??? Is it the boat of shame and fear...because it actually makes us feel like we need God more? Is it the boat of comparison… because comparison makes us feel better about ourselves?? Is it the boat of unforgiveness because if we forgive, we might have to actually face our part and walk in love???

Really, these boats are simply things that stop us from moving forward completely towards fullness in this current season! They are things that we are always looking back at that we hold on to as security blankets. I would venture to say that God has tried to set us from free these "boat" mindsets or habits… and we have put out that fire out because of fear… hmm….

Here we go. Burning the boats...